Christmas: Creating New Traditions and Celebrating What Truly Matters

The holiday season is often painted in the most picturesque ways—snow falling gently outside, the scent of gingerbread cookies wafting through the house, and the joy of exchanging perfectly wrapped gifts. It’s easy to feel pressured by these ideals, to measure your Christmas by an elusive standard of perfection. But Christmas, in its truest essence, isn’t about flawless moments or picture-perfect images. It’s about finding peace, joy, and meaning in ways that truly resonate with your heart, no matter what that is for you.

For many of us, this season is a time to revisit old memories (the good, the bad, and the somewhere in-between), sometimes laden with the weight of expectations or traditions that no longer serve us. And yet, Christmas can be the perfect time to create new traditions—ones that align with our current values, needs, and desires. It’s a chance to reparent ourselves, to embrace what makes us feel whole and content, and to choose what we truly want to celebrate.

Reparenting Yourself This Christmas

Reparenting is a term used to describe the process of nurturing, guiding, and caring for yourself in ways that you may not have experienced as a child. It’s about learning to be your own loving and supportive figure, offering yourself the compassion and care that you may have needed in the past but didn’t receive. If you have a hard time imagining this, think of someone you know or what an ideal parent figure may be like. This Christmas, why not make the holiday season a time to reparent yourself?

This may mean gracefully letting go of old traditions or pressures that no longer serve your well-being. It’s a time to create new rituals that honor your needs, your desires, and your unique journey. You don’t have to follow anyone else’s version of what Christmas should look like. This year, take time to pause and ask yourself: “What would truly bring me peace and joy?” The answer may surprise you. Some people may be upset by this and that is okay. Gently prepare yourself for this likelihood. Others may be in full support, and that it how it should be! Have your own back.

Perhaps it’s spending a quiet morning in reflection, reading a book that nourishes your spirit. Maybe it’s cooking a comforting meal (or getting a special take out meal) that feels like home. Or it might mean gathering with chosen family—those who bring you love and support in ways that your biological family may not have. The point is, you get to decide how you celebrate.

Celebrate What Means the Most to You

Too often, we get caught up in the frenzy of the season—shopping, parties, events—and forget what the day is really about. Christmas doesn’t have to be a showcase of extravagant gifts or fancy décor. It can be about slowing down and focusing on what means the most to you, without the distractions of expectations. You may be the very person putting the most pressure on yourself. Release the valve!

Perhaps what matters most to you is connecting with others, even if that’s through a phone call or a Zoom chat instead of an in-person visit. Maybe you want to spend time alone, engaging in a quiet practice of reflection, or simply watching your favorite holiday movies with no agenda other than to enjoy the moment. Christmas can be whatever you want it to be. It’s a time to tune into your heart and listen to what it craves. It’s about real connection, whether that’s with others or with yourself.

If this year feels different—if it’s your first Christmas without a loved one, or perhaps you’re navigating the season on your own—know that you can still find meaning in your own way. You don’t need to conform to anyone else’s idea of what Christmas should look like. Celebrate the things that matter most to you. That could be as simple as nurturing your well-being, taking a walk in the crisp winter air, or embracing quiet moments of reflection and gratitude. You don't have to feel happy 24/7. Meet yourself where you are at and love yourself extra.

The Freedom of Imperfection

One of the most freeing lessons of the holiday season is the acceptance that things don’t have to be perfect. So often, we place unrealistic expectations on ourselves—thinking that Christmas must look or feel a certain way, and if it doesn’t, we’ve failed in some way. But the truth is, there is no perfect Christmas. There are only moments of connection, moments of joy, and moments of peace. Some may be messy, others may be difficult, but they are all part of the authentic experience of life.

This year, give yourself the gift of imperfection. Let go of the need for everything to be just so. You don’t have to have the perfect tree, the perfect meal, or the perfect gifts. What you do need is a willingness to embrace the season for what it truly is—a time to reflect, reconnect, and find joy in your own way. When you free yourself from the burden of perfection, you open the door to real joy—the kind that comes from within, not from external measures.

New Traditions, New Beginnings

As you look toward Christmas this year, consider it a blank slate. If your traditions no longer fit or resonate, it’s okay to let them go. Creating new traditions isn’t about discarding the old; it’s about making space for what serves you now. This might mean celebrating in new ways, or it might simply mean reframing the season to reflect what you value.

Maybe this year, your Christmas tradition is starting the day with a cup of tea and a good book. Or maybe it’s taking a moment to reflect on what you’re grateful for, creating a gratitude list to guide you into the New Year. It could be lighting a candle for every person you hold dear, and sending thoughts of love to those who need it most. Whatever it looks like for you, make it meaningful.

The holidays don’t have to be a time of stress, perfection, or comparison. They can be a time of growth, self-compassion, and authenticity. Choose to celebrate in a way that nourishes your soul. Create new traditions, reparent yourself with love and care, and let go of the pressures of perfection. In doing so, you’ll discover that the true magic of Christmas lies not in the surface-level celebrations, but in the quiet, heartfelt moments that mean the most.

And remember- any holiday season at its core, is about love and connection. Love and belonging for yourself, for those around you, and for the present moment.

High Fives & Heck Yeahs,

Erica

---

Erica Wilcox, LPC is a Certified EMDR Therapist and EMDRIA Approved Consultant in East Hampton, CT. She is the Founder and CEO of Wilcox Wellness Center for Personal Growth and speaks globally about mental health and wellness. She specializes in intensive EMDR therapy and works with clients across the nation who travel to Connecticut for a self-led therapy retreat focused on intensive EMDR and healing.

Contact Erica at ewilcox@wilcoxwellness.com to connect and take your next step towards freedom.